Deep thoughts on ... life outlooks (or something)

So, I have this problem. When anything starts going my way, I get really scared and weary and pessimistic. I'm basically waiting for the other shoe to drop, as it too often seems to do. I even freak myself out if I start feeling optimistic about a situation -- I have to remind myself, "Look, it probably won't pan out. Actually, just assume it won't." I've always tried to expect the worst and just leave it at that, but sometimes, in a weak moment, I break down and cautiously hope for the best. It's not so bad if the situation is totally or mostly in my control ... but when I only have a little bit of influence or say, it really drives me crazy. I've been dealing with one of those situations recently, and I periodically catch myself spontaneously exclaiming, "What the F---, dude!" Very ladylike.. but I'm just ready to come out on the other side, you know?

Anyway, not to be all mysterious and vague; I had bad insomnia last night and started self-analyzing and decided to share.

Eventful night in downtown Seattle

An evening earlier this week, I went straight from work to downtown Seattle to attend one of those free movie screenings, this one for the movie "Leap Year" (yes, I'm a sucker for rom-coms, and on top of that, I love Matthew Goode). Once I got downtown, I had just over an hour to kill, so I walked to Pacific Place, a huge mall/restaurant/movie theater complex across the street from the theater the movie would play in. I went inside the mall, and then as I headed toward an escalator, I walked by this questionable-looking guy (read: a bit unkempt, shifty). Right as I walked by he said "Follow me out, OK? Let's go." I pretended I hadn't heard anything -- at this point, I thought he was maybe talking toward someone already on the escalator -- so I kept walking. I got on the escalator, and as I was going down, he said "They're watching you." I stealthily looked around, and didn't see anyone he could've been talking to. So.. he was either just talking to no one, or just to me. Um, yikes! He got onto the escalator a few stairs behind me. As soon as I got off, I booked it to the other side of the mall. Thankfully, I didn't spy him again.

I wandered into some random stores with "Sale" signs out front, making sure to quickly walk past Victoria's Secret (where the big Semi-Annual Sale was going on) and Express (where the famous Box Sale was going on), two places where I have little will power. Swung through J. Crew, and then went next door to BCBG Max Azria (which, as I side note, I used to think was Max "Azaria," as I confused it with the actor Hank Azaria), a place I normally would never go into, but this time I was lured in by the "Extra %30 off clearance items" sign. Most of their clothing, even marked 50% off, and then an additional 30% off, was still waaay too expensive for me, but I found a casual jacket and a couple skirts to try on. A saleslady led me over to the dressing rooms and then opened up one for me. I walked in, closed the door behind me, and then turned around and around in confusion: There was no f'ing mirror in the room!! I then remembered that as I'd waited to be let into the dressing room, I'd seen a man and two kids sitting on this large sofa thing, and the mom of the family had come out to show them the dress she was trying on. There were mirrors on the outside of each dressing-room door, so she was obviously showing them the dress while also getting a first look herself. BCBG is such a high-end store -- and yet they only have mirrors OUTSIDE their dressing rooms?! Luckily, I at least didn't have all stubbly legs, as I'd had swimming the night before, but there was still no way I was going to step outside to show off every bulge and dip. The jacket I'd took in to try on was much to short -- I didn't need a mirror to figure that out -- so that immediately went back on the hanger. Next, I tried on the two skirts. Herein was where I ran into a bit of a problem.. I tried to take some self-photos on my iPhone, but as all other iPhone owners know, this is a pretty impossible task. At right, you can see the results of those attempts. The skirt was actually quite cute, but being that it was all black, the details don't show on a low-resolution/badly lit iPhone-camera picture. The lack of being able to truly see how the skirts fit, combined with the still steep price of them, led me to easily decide to not buy either of them (though I could've of course bought them, tried them on at home at my leisure, and then returned them). One of my friends suggested that the no-mirrors-in-dressing-rooms thing is so that when you step outside to look at yourself, the salespeople can come over and start lauding you with compliments, so you get all excited to buy everything you try on. I definitely don't mind stepping out for some compliments/affirmation on something that looks good on me, but only after I've looked at myself for 10 minutes and from every angle in front of the mirror inside my dressing room. So...yeah. Now we all know!

After wasting some more time at other stores in the mall -- and not spending any money: snap! -- I headed back out to walk over to the movie screening. About 20 minutes into the movie, the screen suddenly went white, and we saw the film literally melt right there. It looked like someone stretched some thin caramel across the screen, and then it just tore apart and disappeared. The theater was at full capacity, and we all laughed nervously and were like, "What the--?" About 10 minutes later, we were back in action, though the film obviously started again at least a minute or two from where we'd last seen it. Twenty minutes later...another film meltdown! This time, it only took them about 5 minutes to fix things (after each meltdown, the rep from the film studio told us "Sorry about that! They say they'll have it fixed within a few minutes!"). Once again, the film started up. And then 20 minutes after that...a THIRD meltdown! Jeezus! I heard later that a couple people walked out during one of the meltdowns, but in general, everyone took it with good humor. Certainly, no one was yelling or complaining loudly or anything. And after the third fix up, though the screen definitely had a blurry section right in the middle, it was smooth sailing through the end of the movie. As for the movie itself, well, it was up and down. The best part, for me, anyway, was Matthew Goode. Oh, and as a bonus -- on our way out, we each got a free ticket for an upcoming movie as the theater's way to apologize for the technical problems. My boss was like "You attended a free movie, and got a ticket to see another free movie?" Um, yes. And why not?

The saga of ... rain boots

Though I've lived in Seattle basically my whole life, and own a couple pairs of waterproof shoes (of the hiking variety), I was surprised to realize a few months ago that I've never actually owned a pair of rain boots. So I made it a quest to find my first pair. As I began shopping around, I made some discoveries..

A lot of the fun/funky boots are waaay too big at the top for my non-existent calves. I knew that I'd only occasionally be wearing them with pants tucked in (which would still not fill up the calf areas completely), so I also needed to find a pair that wouldn't bulge out awkwardly from underneath jeans. My quest got sent into high gear when I first received a $20 gift certificate to Nordstrom (a side bonus of having a Nordstrom Visa as my main credit card), and then a $40 certificate. For some reason, I got it in my head that I needed to look into buying a pair of boots by Hunter, a British company who I believe first designed the original wellington style of rain boot. Their tall boots are pretty high, so I figured I wouldn't have to worry about the calf issue as much, and though they have a $115 price tag, I knew I'd be taking a $60-chunk out of my final price. A few days before Christmas, I was out to lunch with some friends from work, when Ben mentioned he wanted to make a quick stop at Nordstrom to buy a present for his wife. I happened to have my gift certificates with me, and knew that the Nordstrom by work has a bigger shoe section than the one by where I live (but it's not convenient for me to go there in general), so I was like "I'm a-comin' too!"

Once we got to Nordy's, I made a beeline for the Hunter display in the women's shoe area. While I was waiting for a sales person to come help me out, I heard two other Nordy's workers discussing the special Jimmy Choo-branded Hunter boot that was on display. I overheard one of them say something about it being "so cute," and "they're $250." When someone finally came over to me to help me out, I told him I usually wear an 8.5, but since Hunters only come in whole sizes -- as do a lot of rain boots, it seems -- he went off to get a 7 and an 8. I first tried on the 8, which was way too big. Then he pulled out the size 7, which was the Jimmy Choo-branded boot. He said, "We don't have the boot in the original style in a 7, so I brought out this one." I suavely said, "Oh, uh, those are the really expensive ones, right?" He said, "They're $250." I was feeling a bit stupid from my first remark, so I just mumbled, "Oh, well, they're a bit out of my price range." They turned out to be too small anyway, and neither pair was very comfortable, so I crossed Hunter off my list. As a side note.. turns out those Hunter by Jimmy Choo boots are actually $395!!

So...I then wandered around looking at the various other rain boots. My eye was caught by a pair by Kamik. I liked that they had a bit of shape to them in the foot area, and looked both functional and fashionable. I tried them on, and bonus: They were super comfortable, and fit just right. They even have a thin Polartec lining for some added warmth, and, interestingly, they're made by a Canadian company, in Canada! http://kamik.com/.

I initially bought a shiny black boot with a bright red foldover thing at the top of the boot (made of a sweater material). After I got them home, I decided that I didn't like the bright red color, as it was a little too attention-getting. I went online, and happily discovered that the boots also came in the same shiny-black shade without the red foldover. And then, bonus upon bonus, I read the fine print on Nordstrom's Web site and found out that they do price matching, and then, I found the Kamik boots in my size, in stock, in Altrec.com, for $25 cheaper! I immediately went back to Nordstom, exchanged the boots (and made use of their price-match policy) and in the end, taking into account the $60 in rewards certificates, got the boots nearly for free! I never knew Nordstrom did price matching, and it turns out they do on all their products. Details here.

Anyway, I wore my new kicks over jeans for the first time earlier this week, on a day when it was raining pretty much non stop. As I walked to my bus stop, I stepped around puddles as usual, and then went, "Wait a minute!" and started walking through them instead, since I had no hems to worry about soaking (or leather/canvas to worry about dirtying). Puddle stomping is so much fun! Of course, only really skinny girls with no hips can carry off the whole jeans-into-boots look, but I'm going to force myself to tuck 'em in once in a while anyway, and try to feel less self-conscious about it. I also may invest in another, more fun pair of rain boots down the road. I live in Seattle, after all!